Coffee Talk Parent – child stress

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Dr. Sarah: Hey guys, this is our version of this week’s coffee talk. We’re going to be discussing stress in parenting and kids and all of that kind of stuff. I’m going to be asking Shane a few questions on that topic, so here we go! Have you ever heard the phrase stressed-out parents raise stressed-out kids?


Shane: Yes, I have and I believe it, but only halfway. I don’t necessarily think that if you’re stressed out, you’re going to have stressed out kids all the time. I think there’s changes that you can make to your life to help this not happen. Children tend to soak up everything around them, that’s how they grow and how they develop. They look at their surroundings and they just absorb it like a sponge, so if you’re stressed out, they are going to pick up on it. They’re really closely tied and connected to us so they’re going to pick up on all of our stress.


Dr. Sarah: So, what strategies would you have for lowering your stress and keeping that from affecting your kids?


Shane: Well, a lot of the times that I’ve been successful with this is just keeping an eye on and being conscious of myself and being self-aware. Also, knowing your triggers, keeping yourself calm, and getting massages. The more you take care of your nervous system, the better you’re going to respond to stress around you. When I’m getting my massages on a regular basis, I’m usually handling my stress around me a lot better. Silence is really good for me, that helps me calm down and it just rejuvenates. I’ve read some studies lately that silence is rejuvenating to the nervous system.


Dr. Sarah: And we so rarely get that with three kids.


Shane: Yeah. Well, what I do is I’ll go and take a bath. I’ll get in the bathtub and I’ll drop my ears below the water, and I get this great like silence like you can’t hear anything. I’ll do that for about 15 or 20 seconds and it’s very refreshing. Sleep is great, whenever I’m getting enough rest, I’m usually handling most of my stress a lot better and all that translates into me having calmer kids. I have noticed that when I’m calm and when I’m not stressed (because I’m the stressed parent and in the family) that I’m not having stressed kids. It’s amazing, my kids are not running around all over the place and crazy. Yoga is also really good for me. I was always really calm when doing yoga. When I’m doing my bike rides too. You know, exercise! You’ve got to find your things to do.


Dr. Sarah: You know, one thing we started doing over the summer, but then of course it got too hot and we just haven’t gotten back into it, was riding as a family together. Bike riding together as a family was super fun and everybody, even if we were really stressed out that day, I found that a bike ride at night before bed was like so awesome! Because we all just chatted and had a leisurely stroll and it was really nice, we should really start that up again.


Shane: Yeah, totally!


Dr. Sarah: Well, cool! I’m glad you shared all that. We’ve been talking about coping with stress in our household, so we thought we would just share. Tell us what do you guys do in your household. Leave a comment and say how you fight the stress in your household. What strategies are you using to help keep yourself calm and your kids calm?


Shane: Yeah, we’d love to hear from you guys. Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook or subscribe to our YouTube channel to be notified of any other Coffee Talks. We’re going to try to do more in the future so we want you guys to know about it, and we want you guys to let us know your thoughts. We want to make it more of a conversation out there in the internet land as well so let’s all get connected. Alright guys, thanks!

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